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High Conflict Divorce
Grief While at Divorce War
Nobody marries expecting to be divorced from the person they once loved. Divorce therefore rarely comes without some degree of grief. You have lost the entire direction that you thought your life would go in.
The grief can be overwhelming. It is probably the most important emotion that a person has to contend with.
Often however grief is overshadowed by the relentless onslaught of the aggressive attacks by the other party and their associates at a time when finances, children, friends and family, stability and privacy are all also under threat. There is no time to be gentle to oneself and this can have long term health implications in high conflict divorce.
High Conflict Abuse and Children
A high conflict personality will use anything to harm the other parent. Usually they are the abusive member of the partnership. Sadly the most effective tool for hurting an ex partner is by taking the children through family court.
They will not mediate, will break all boundaries, will alienate the children against the protective parent, will neglect the child, will make false allegations, they will make contact difficult for you. Their new partner may not be nice to your child. They will force your case into family court. They will pay for and manipulate professionals to try to 'win' points to gain residency. They will not care about the damage they will be doing to the children. If they get residency they will use this to further abuse the protective parent by fabricating issues to reduce contact.
They will never stop.
They will make you look like and feel like you are crazy. And all of their friends will help them. You will feel isolated and confused.
This is a most cruel and ironic twist in high conflict divorce as often the main reason why a protective parent leaves a relationship in the first place is to keep their children safe from an abusive partner. Sadly, too often, residency is transferred to the abusive parent as they have calculatedly manipulated the highly disfunctional family court system and its professionals to ensure they obtain residency and a favorably abusive outcome for the protective parent.
Please see our page titled 'Dealing With Family Court' on this particularly difficult matter.
Personality Disorders
Get the RIGHT professional help
If you are divorcing a High Conflict person then you may be aware of such terms as Aspergers, narcissism, psychopathy, helicoptering, borderline disorder, coercive control, gas lighting or flying monkeys. You may have questions about what has happened to you.
Sarah Morris Therapy understands all aspects of what you may be going through in high conflict divorce. Please see the next few pages on these personality disorders.
By providing strategies that can focus and navigate you through this dark part of discovering hidden relationship intricacies you can survive and even thrive despite a high conflict divorce.
Get the RIGHT professional help
Get the RIGHT professional help
Love yourself ten times more than you did a minute ago. Love yourself and get therapy.
High conflict divorce by definition involves a skilled manipulative person who is going to try every trick that they and their friends and employed professionals can find, to harm you. They will blame, victim play, gas light, recruit, subvert and destroy anything or anyone you love. They will do this relentlessly and with great pleasure. It may be years, if at all, before they stop. Get help.
Love yourself ten times more than you did a minute ago.
Building a Team
Sarah Morris will help you to find ways to ensure that one of your basic needs, to love and be loved, can be met.
Where your ex partner will be trying to destroy family ties and friendships we will work on how to rebuild bridges, heal together and nurture much needed relationships. You are going to need all the help you can get in this area when surviving high conflict divorce. It is essential that you do.
Sound mental health is heavily based around fulfilling this basic human need for social intimacy.
At the same time we will give you practical tips, shared stories of success and psychoeducation on personality disorders, their impact on the victim and how to manage moving on either with no contact, or if no contact is not an option.
Love yourself
Love yourself ten times more than you did a minute ago.
You need the support of a therapist who can rationally provide you with clarity, calm and sensible support. You need a full munitions of therapeutic tools to get you through this. Chose your therapist carefully. They must understand what you are dealing with. Bad therapy, if you have been dealing with a cluster B or C personality type can be very damaging to your mental health.
Love yourself ten times more than you did a minute ago. Love yourself and get therapy.